It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m not going to be monitoring what I eat today. I plan to go to a party, booze it up, eat lots of food, and smoke. Yes, I know, it’s not good, but I love cigarettes with my liquor. I’ll behave myself tomorrow, just let me have this one day! Everyone have a safe and happy New Year! May 2011 bring much happiness and joy!
I have a confession to make: I have not been writing everything down like I should be. I have been remembering however. But I’ve got to remind myself that writing in the moment will be much more beneficial. I really want to delve into those feelings I have towards food.
Today I’ve noticed that I tend to pick certain foods out of convenience. I’m a lazy eater and I’m not going to put work into making my meals. For instance, today I had a Zone bar for breakfast, a donut for lunch, and a Lean Cuisine for dinner. Not healthy choices at all!
I’ve also noticed that I eat fast. There’s a reason that experts say to eat at a calm pace, it’s because when you eat fast your brain has not registered that you’re full yet. I need to learn to listen to my body.
I’m not going to bore you by writing my list of everything I ate today, however, I will present you with some highlights. I started the day the way I usually start it, with an iced caramel latte at 9:45 AM. Honestly, I drink way to many of them. I hate the taste of whole milk, so I always have skim, but there still has to be a significant amount of calories considering there’s caramel in there.
So anyway, I have my latte, and probably 75% of the time, I don’t eat breakfast. So, how am I still fat? Good question. After that I noticed at about 1:30 PM, I was feeling pretty hungry, growling-stomach hungry. I saw someone eating grilled cheese, so I just had to get two for lunch, plus some rice pilaf. I love rice pilaf!
Here’s what I’ve noticed about myself. I will eat and keep eating even if I don’t like what I’m eating. The grilled cheese today wasn’t good. It was lousy. My college used to make delicious grilled cheese. The grilled cheese today was cold and they don’t even use real butter. What’s up with that?
So, anyway, despite this craptastic grilled cheese, I ate everything. I’ve also noticed that I eat very fast, barely taking time to breathe between bites.
When I was supposed to be having dinner at 5:30 PM, I ended up eating a delicious piece of chocolate cake. It was spectacular! When I eat dessert, I tend to savor every bite, eating slowly and enjoying myself.
I bought myself another latte on the way home from work at 8:00 PM. I didn’t eat anything at home until about 11:30 PM when I popped some popcorn and ate the whole bag. Mind you, this was not one of those individual bags.
So, what habits have I noticed? Well, I eat too fast, for one thing. I also eat in excess of what I should. My meals aren’t well balanced and some meals are non-existent. Just some things I need to work on.
The Challenge: During this time period, I resolve to observe my eating habits.
The History: The earliest I can recall keeping a food journal was when I joined Weight Watchers for the first time. That was in October of 1998. Since then, I’ve tried several times to monitor my food intake and I’ve lost interest.
The Reasons: I can’t find the actual source, but I remember hearing at a Weight Watchers meeting that people who journal tend to lose more weight than people who do not.
The Benefits: Keeping a food diary will allow me to really think about what I’m putting into my body. Think about it, how often do you mindlessly eat, just throwing food into your mouth? If you’re like me, you do it constantly.
I also want to monitor my feelings about food. I never stop to think about how I feel before or after eating. I want to start asking myself:
- How hungry am I?
- Why do I feel the need to eat? (emotional, physical, etc.)
- How do I feel after eating?
The Plan: This will be easy enough, if I can just keep up with it. I plan to keep a small notebook with me and write in it when I feel the need to. Eventually, I’d like to design a template to use each week.
*This is not a diet, this is a way to get me ready for upcoming changes to my diet.
The Time Period: This week will focus on the food journal only, but I intend to make it a permanent addition to my life (like quitting smoking)!
I’m putting off getting a real job. Not that I don’t respect and enjoy my job now, but I need to make more money. I can’t really live on the money I’m making currently.
I got my education degree and my license to teach. My first year was such a disaster however, that I’ve winced at the thought of teaching ever since.
In the upcoming year though, I’m planning to apply to as many teaching jobs as I can find. I need to start living.
I know what you’re thinking, “she’s the worst blogger ever and she’s run out of ideas.” True, I got a lump of coal in my stocking today for not keeping up with my blog. However, I have high hopes and great ideas for the future of this site. Bear with me please!
If you’ve forgotten, I was supposed to work on my self-esteem. That venture was an epic FAIL! I’m willing to take another stab at it though, later on, when I can brainstorm a bit. After thinking it through, I realized that self-esteem is something that will take longer than a week to work on.
So, what’s next? I haven’t a clue. I’ll try to make it more interesting. Don’t give up on me!
Have a very happy holiday season!
The Challenge: During this time period, I resolve to improve my self-esteem.
The History: I don’t remember ever not having low self-esteem. For as long as I can recall, I have never really liked myself. For every one characteristic I like about myself, there are seven I don’t like. I have always thought that I am the only one who knows how I feel about myself, but apparently, my negative attitude is obvious to everyone.
The Reasons: I want to do this to appear more confident.
The Benefits: Confidence is an attractive trait. I would love to be more attractive, to men, to employers, to potential friends, etc.
The Plan: I’m not quite sure yet as to how to go about this task. I’m sure there are books and online resources to help me out.
The Time Period: I’d like to do this in one or two weeks.