Monthly Archives: February 2013

Challenge #3 (Again), Day 2

I had everything written out yesterday for day 1 and when I tried to publish, my wireless connection went dead.  So, here I am on day two.

I woke up late this morning and I didn’t have much time to do anything.  I had to get ready for work and run some errands.  Needless to say, I did not get my exercise in before work.  Though, I am pleased with myself as I did my exercises when I got home.  Let me tell you, after getting home from working the 3-11:30 shift, the last thing I want to do is exercise.  I am very surprised and proud that I was able to get my mini-workout in.  I also feel better about myself for doing it!

I’ve included some museum-quality sketches of each stretch I did.  I wasn’t sure of the correct names for a few of them, so I made them up.  I was able to increase the count and reps for a few of the stretches.  My intention is to gradually increase the difficulty of my workout each day.

"1.

If you read my previous post, you know that I am working on two things this week.  I’ll fill you in with my skincare routine later in the week.  I also will have pictures, hopefully showing the progress I’ve made. Goodnight!

 

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Challenge #3 (Again) I resolve to start my days off with some stretching and to follow a strict skincare regimen.

The Challenge: During this time period, I resolve to do two things: 

  1. I resolve to stretch each day, preferably in the morning.
  2. I resolve to take care of my skin by sticking to a regimen.

The History:

  • Stretching: When I was in 8th grade, I was determined to lose weight.  I counted my fat grams (no more than 20 per day), and stuck to a nightly exercise plan, beginning with some stretches I’d found in Seventeen Magazine.
  • Skin Care: In high school, I didn’t have major acne issues.  Currently, I experience frequent breakouts and I’m also trying to fight that dreaded sign of aging–wrinkles.  Truth be told, my wrinkles and acne really aren’t that bad.  I have some fine lines under my eyes, but I’ve had those for at least 10 years (age 21).  My acne is mainly dispersed around my chin/mouth area and on my forehead.  Still, I don’t like the look of either and I’d like to do my best to prevent them for as long as possible.

The Reasons:

  • Stretching: I feel that stretching will help me to start to think about more strenuous exercise.  I believe stretching is a good exercise to start with as I won’t be “diving right in” to the hard stuff.  It will feel great to have my body moving in any way possible. Plus, I may even see some results on my figure.
  • Skin Care: Again, I’m interested in developing a good habit.  I have a plethora of skin care that I don’t use, and the money I’ve spent is going to waste.  I know that when I take care of my skin, I feel better about myself and I am less likely to touch my face (I’m a zit popper).

The Benefits: 

  • Stretching: Stress-relief, leads to other exercise, possible positive body changes.
  • Skin Care: More attractive skin, improved self-esteem.

The Plan: I’m going to lump both resolutions into one.  I will try my hardest to get up early so that I can get to stretching.  I’m going to use the internet to find ideas for stretches.  As for my skin care regimen, I do not have to buy anything.  I have so many products that aren’t being used. The biggest struggle for me will be allowing myself time to take care of my skin in the morning and night.

The Time Period: I’m giving myself two weeks to develop these good habits.  After the two weeks are up, I’m hoping to make these habits a permanent part of my life.

 

Incentive Purchase

By now, if you’ve read some of my posts, you’ve most-likely noticed that I’m pretty random.  I tend to talk about anything and everything that pops into my head.  I’d started this blog to document the positive changes I’ve planned to make but it’s pretty much become an online journal and that’s okay with me.  I don’t know why I feel the need to explain myself all the time, if I would just get to the point, conversations with me would be a hell of a lot shorter.

Anyway, I was browsing online today, trying to figure out how to spend my tax money.  Let me tell you, I am terrible with money (and here I am, considering going back to school for accounting).  I pay all my bills, but the leftover goes to a number of things I don’t need.

One unnecessary thing I happen to love to buy is underwear.  I love frilly, printed, fancy, lacy, satin, silky, colorful underwear.  I haven’t always had this obsession.  Up through high school, I wore the multi-pack undies you could get at any department store.  Then, as a high school senior something changed…the “Thong Song” broke out.  After that, everyone was talking about thongs and visible panty lines.

One night, near the end of senior year, my group of friends made plans to go to the city, hang out at the mall, and go to a club (for the first time!).  Of course, we had to shop for clubbing clothes which at that time consisted of: slutty top and tight pants.  Now, having procured the aforementioned “clubbing uniform”, I was in need of underwear that would not lead to the dreaded “VPL”.  So, for the first time ever, I stepped into Victoria’s Secret.  I purchased a Body By Victoria leopard-print thong that was made out of a smooth, nylon material.  I went to the mall’s bathroom, changed, and I was hooked.  That following summer, I went to the semi-annual sale and purchased some more pretty panties, two of which, I still have.

My obsession was growing.  I’d make frequent trips to the mall and the Victoria’s Secret website to check out what new patterns they had created for the season.  Soon, boyshorts had arrived on the scene and of course, I had to get those.  Whenever I’d go  shopping, it always involved a visit to the underwear section.  And then, I got fat.

Pretty underwear became harder and harder to find as I gained weight.  So now, as I am at my all-time highest weight, I am back to buying the multi-pack from Target.  So how does all of this rambling about underwear relate to the title of this post? Well, as I mentioned above, I was browsing online today for items to buy with my income tax refund.  I went to one of my favorite shopping sites, HerRoom, to look for bras.  I actually do need bras now and HerRoom is one place where I can find a 42H cup.  I looked at bras and eventually started looking at panties when I found this:

Just look at all the pretty colors!

Just look at all the pretty colors!

Holy crap!  This thong is an “Undie Award Winner”!  It has a 4.5 star rating!  It comes in over 50 colors!  It is Italian!  IT IS ON SALE!!!!!  OMG!

I just coined the term “incentive purchase” for this *thong.  By incentive purchase, I mean a purchase that one buys as an incentive to make a positive change, in my case, an incentive to lose weight.  Perhaps I didn’t coin the phrase.  Maybe it’s been used before.  Anyway, I want this thong.  Should I buy a bunch of these in hopes of losing weight?  Ah, decisions, decisions.

*I should also mention that Hanky Panky makes a similar thong that I wouldn’t mind buying.

Children?

Newborn

Newborn (Photo credit: juliecampbell)

I’m going off-topic today because frankly, my current challenge is lame and boring. I haven’t gossiped and I really don’t feel any different.  I’m sure it’s good for my soul.

Today I went on Facebook and found out that one of my friends from college (who I don’t speak with much anymore) has just had a baby.  The thing is, I could never, ever picture this girl as a mother.  Not that she will make a bad mother, it’s just that in college, we partied together, stayed up late together, got drunk and smoked together, etc.  I know that people grow up and have different priorities but when am I going to grow up?

I don’t particularly want to grow up.  I’m 31 and I have no desire to have children anytime soon.  I may want children one day and hopefully, I’ll be able to have them if I do want that life.  Right now, I still want to party and go to bars and meet new people and stay out late.  I feel like I will have no friends left if everyone continues to have babies.  What can I do with a friend who has kids?  Does your social life end when you have a child?

It’s all very confusing to me.  Is it wrong of me to not want children?  One time, I said to my therapist that I didn’t want children and he was shocked.  I could have told him I had homicidal tendencies and his reaction would have been tamer.

I feel that part of the reason I don’t want children is because I’ve missed out on a lot of milestones that most people have experienced.  I’ve never been in love.  I live with my parents.  I don’t enjoy time with friends nearly as often as I should.  I keep hoping that these experiences will happen and that I won’t die a recluse.  I wonder if I ever do find a man to love me, will I know how to act in a relationship?  Is it too late?

I guess my big question is: Is there life after having children?

Challenge #2 (Again) – Day 3

Whisper

Whisper (Photo credit: Chris Sgaraglino)

 

Today was technically my 3rd day of avoiding gossip.  It was very easy to do yesterday because I wasn’t working.  Today I went back to work and of course, the gossip was in full effect.  I really didn’t participate too much, though I must admit that I listened.  That is one really good thing about being quiet, I’m an excellent listener (as long as it is something I want to hear).

 

The gossip today was about how our co-worker was acting aloof towards our unit because someone had mentioned that she saw said co-workers music video on Youtube.  This coworker, *Frank, assumed that everyone on our unit was making fun of him.  So Frank, who used to be super-friendly, is now distant whenever he comes to the unit.  According to  my co-worker, *Jeff, Frank sent a note to another co-worker, *Susan, saying it was wrong of her to share the video.  This is not the most juciest of gossip, but for this small group it will suffice for the day.

 

I’ll continue to avoid participating in the gossip circle, but I can’t say I’m going to stop listening! Next week, I promise to come up with a resolution that is not as lazy as this one.

 

Girls: Season 2, Episode 4

I don’t plan on making TV reviews a regular segment of mine, but I just had to share my thoughts on this past episode of HBO’s Girls.  I just got around to watching it tonight and I think this particular episode was superb.  I admit it sounds clichéd, but I laughed and I cried.  The acting and writing were fantastic and real and human.  It is my favorite episode of both seasons so far and that says a lot because when I started watching the show, it took me almost half the season to realize that I liked it.

FYI: I’m not going to summarize everything about the show, I’d just like to share the parts that really made an impact on me.

The title of this episode is “It’s a Shame About Ray”.  In this episode, Hannah hosts a dinner party at her apartment after her “divorce” from Elijah, while Jessa meets Thomas John’s parents.  And BTW: Griffin Dunn, whom I remember from movies I watched as a child, has aged dramatically.

Anyway, the entire show was great, but it was around the middle of the episode when I just fell in love with it.  Ray, Shoshanna’s boyfriend, has been mainly a background character throughout the series.  He was always enjoyable and great for a laugh, but he never stood out to me.  In this particular episode, there is a point where Shoshanna is angry at him.  She has just realized that Ray has basically been living with her for two weeks.  It never occurred to her that he wasn’t going home at night, he would always stay over.  She feels as if he’s been using her up to this point.  It’s after Ray admits that he is, essentially, homeless, that this conversation occurs:

“You’re older than me, you should have your own place,” says Shoshanna.

“I know, I know,” Ray replies.

“You should have like, more interests and passions and things that you…do. I mean, you get up everyday and sort of, just, there’s nothing. It’s like unless you’re going to work, you don’t have…any…you, you, you can’t pay for anything…”

Then Ray says “Just say it. Just fucking say it. I’m a loser. I’m a huge, fucking loser. Say it. Say it. You don’t think I was counting down the days until you figured it out?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you had no house?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t that excited to tell my beautiful, cute, smart 21-year old girlfriend that I’m a 33-year old homeless guy, whose one valuable possession in this world is a signed picture of Andy Kaufman.  I’m a fucking loser in a lot of ways Shoshanna, you know that? What makes me worth dating? What makes me worth fucking anything?”

At which point, Shoshanna tells him she’s falling in love with him and he later admits the same.  It’s not the falling in love part that gets to me here, I don’t believe in love.  It’s Ray’s statements about himself.  Everything Ray said made sense to me, it is exactly as I feel.  I love the way this particular dialogue is written.  It is so real.  And now, after watching it again (I had to get the quotes right), I’m tearing up.  Of all the characters on the show, I feel right now, that I can relate most to Ray.   His feelings about himself hit home with me.

Meanwhile, Jessa’s happy married life is falling apart.  She gets into a hateful shouting match with her husband, Thomas John, and both end up making vicious statements about each other.  Near the end of the argument, Thomas John labels Jessa a “whore with no work ethic”, to which Jessa replies by punching him in the face.  The argument ends with Thomas John asking Jessa how much it will cost to get her out of his life ($11,500), and Jessa, storming out of the apartment.

I knew that Jessa would not be one to stay tied down but I had hoped her marriage would last longer than this.  She seemed so stable for once.  It was so upsetting to see the marriage basically crash out of nowhere.

The final scene of the episode leads the viewer to Hannah’s apartment after her party.  Now, roommate-less, she sits in her bathtub with the bathroom door open, singing “Wonderwall”.  (I have to say, Lena Dunham’s voice is pretty good.  She stayed in-tune very well.)  Jessa walks in and Hannah screams, at first not knowing who is coming into her bathroom.  Hannah starts to get out of the tub and Jessa says “no, don’t get up” and she strips and gets in the other side of the tub with Hannah.  She starts to cry, and this is the part that gets to me, Hannah looks at her friend, with that face that says “I’m so sorry you feel that way, how can I make this better?” and she reaches out and grabs Jessa’s hand to comfort her.  After that, Hannah makes a joke which cuts the sad tone of the end of this episode.  And then, you hear that song starting in the background. What song?  Oasis’ “Wonderwall”.  The song was so perfect for the end of this episode, I just started crying.

Now, I know the getting into the bathtub thing with her friend was odd, but I could overlook it.  It was touching to see Hannah reach out to her friend and not act selfish, for once.  It makes me wish for a girl friend to have a shoulder to cry on.

I can’t say enough about this episode!  I think if you have the means, you should see it too.

Challenge #2 (Again)

English: Eugene de Blaas: The friendly gossip

English: Eugene de Blaas: The friendly gossip (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

The Challenge: During this time period, I resolve to not gossip.

 

The History: I admit it, gossiping is fun!  It’s also mean and deceitful.  But oh, what a guilty pleasure!  I like to think of myself as a good person, but then I remember all the times I’ve spoken about someone behind her back or told a secret that wasn’t mine to tell.  I’ve been a lonely girl for as long as I can remember, but I always feel like I belong when I get with a group of girls and gossip.  It’s usually always girls, most men seem  immune to the pleasures of gossiping.  I get the most enjoyment out of being the informant.  

 

My current workplace is mostly all women.  When I’m not busy, I tend to spend a fair amount of time whispering, judging, and/or making fun of someone.

 

The Reasons: I want to do this because I want to feel better about myself.  Also, I am often asking myself “What do they say about me when I’m not around?”

 

The Benefits: I truly feel that not spending my time gossiping will make me feel better about myself.  Additionally, I feel that part of the reason women gossip is to feel better about their own indiscretions and misfortune.  Thus, not gossiping will make me seem more confident.

 

The Plan: My plan is to not get involved when I hear gossip.  I won’t take part in the discussion and I will try to find something else to keep me occupied.  I’m actually pretty good at tuning people out.

 

The Time Period: I’m giving myself one gossip-free week.