Friday is weigh-in day. I was very much looking forward to this day because I felt so good about my performance this past week. I got to Weight Watchers today and I discovered I lost 1.2 pounds. It didn’t make me very happy.
I know I should be satisfied with that result. After all, I could have gained weight. But I just expected a bigger loss. It could have a bit to do with Easter being this week. It may be related to PMS. It also might be related to a medication that I am on that can cause weight gain (and also constipation). Whatever the cause, I’m quickly realizing that this is going to be a very long process.
I’m trying to be positive. But it is so tough. I keep thinking about the big picture, the 120 pounds that I want to drop. I know that I should be thinking small. Short-term goals are much easier to envision and are also rewarding in their own way. I think my short-term goal will be the %10 loss. If you’ve been to Weight Watchers, you know that you always start with a %5 and then a %10 loss as an accomplishment. The Weight Watchers members and leaders make a big deal of it.
I guess it is a big deal. Once, I lose my %10, I’m sure I’ll feel like I’m doing something right. But thinking about how long it will take to lose that %10 makes me cringe. I often daydream about hearing those magic phrases:
- “Did you lose weight?”
- “You’re doing a great job!”
- “Keep up the good work!”
- “You look great!”
I want it to be obvious that I’m making a change. I want people to change their perceptions of me. I can’t honestly say that we’re all prejudiced because I really don’t know the statistics on that. But I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. I’m sure that many people see me for the first time and believe I’m lazy, stupid, clumsy, and smelly. It’s just like when I see a girl that fits the definition of “hot”, I automatically think she’s a snobby bitch. I want people to view me as someone who is making an effort, who cares about the way she looks.
What I really want is to start seeing results. I want to feel accomplished and worth it. I guess I just need to keep trying as hard as I can. If you have any ideas for ways to stay motivated, please share them with me.