I’m looking for a little relationship advice. I’m not actually in a relationship. It’s more “relationship-that-I-want-to-be-in” advice that I’m requesting. I’m not going to go into my whole relationship history because it is boring and pathetic. But I do want to talk about one guy in particular.
This man, I’ll call him “Steve”, has been my friend for years. I met him when I was younger and weighed much less than I do now. I don’t want to sound over-confident, but I knew when I was first introduced to him that he was interested in me. He was really flirtatious. We became friends and about five months later, I started to get interested in him too. On the phone one night, he told me I was beautiful. It was so sincere, there was no ulterior motive behind his words.
One night at a party, we kissed and that’s when our friendship started to evolve. We went on a date with another couple. Shortly after that, I met someone else (Andy) and started seeing him. I didn’t bother to tell Steve though, as I thought it was just casual and I figured I’d date both men and figure out who I felt the strongest connection with. You can imagine how that must have turned out.
A few weeks into seeing Andy, Steve found out. When Steve’s friend, Cory, IMed me one night, he told me that he was upset that Steve and I didn’t work out. Cory and Steve had talked and they agreed that they didn’t expect me to do something like that. I felt terrible. It turned out that Steve genuinely liked me and Andy was looking for someone to hook up with.
Eventually we did become friends again, but it’s always been a “unique” friendship. There were a few times after the incident when we’d be drinking and we’d kiss and he would say such sweet things to me. I always felt something when we kissed. No one else ever made me feel like him.
We continued to talk all the time. We were always IMing each other. Even after we’d graduated college, we stayed in contact, which was not the case with the majority of my college friends. I always felt very close to him and comfortable with him. And I always wanted to date him again.
Over the past four years we’ve grown apart though. I really, really miss him. We’re “friends” on Facebook, but that’s where it ends. We don’t talk on the phone, we don’t send messages, we don’t hang out. He’s moving forward, I’m stuck in neutral. It hurts to think that he’s given up on me. I never expected him to forget about me. I can’t contact him, I’m too terrified of rejection and awkward silence.
This is where I need relationship advice. Do I give up on him too? Do I actually like him or am I just attracted to the fact that he’s the only person who ever really liked me? Should I put myself out there and try to meet someone else?