Monthly Archives: October 2013

Where Did I Go Wrong?

I haven’t been taking care of myself.  I’ve been lingering around the same weight for about 3 months now.  I’ve pretty much given up.  One week I’ll be working really hard to eat right and track my food and the next week, I’ll eat everything that looks good to me.  I’m not sure how to get back on track.  By now, I should be at least 40 pounds slimmer.  I’ve lost about 25 total. I’m sure that everyone who once said I looked good must now be thinking that I’m a failure, which is exactly how I see myself.

Where do I go from here?  How do I get back on track?  I wish that something could go right in my life.  I want to be beautiful and wanted.  I’m so damaged and I don’t know if I can put myself back together.  With each day that passes, I get further and further away from my goals.  Some days, I feel like just giving up all together.

It’s hard to live without friends, without someone I can turn to.  I need to talk to someone, but I’m not sure where I’ll find that someone.  I’m just taking up space in this world.  I’m not contributing anything meaningful.