It is a huge weight off my shoulders to be off of Facebook for the time being. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried it, but it really makes a difference, especially if you are like me. You see, I tend to be quite dramatic. Deep down, I know that most people on Facebook only post statuses about the positive events in their lives. I know that there is so much that goes unsaid on Facebook. However, I can’t help but stress out about those positive life events of others. I can’t help but feel inadequate.
There are actually two things that led to my most recent Facebook sabbatical. Number one is no surprise: Steve. It just hurts so much to get my hopes up that he will talk to me. I’ll be online for 3 hours and it will show that he is available for chat, yet he never contacts me, never. Years ago, we’d always find a way to talk. This is going back to the time that IMing was popular. Remember AOL Instant Messenger? Anyway, we used to “talk” once a week, at least. I miss him so much, but he won’t even notice that I’m gone.
There is a second reason that I gave Facebook a break. My friend, Katie, posted that she moved into her own apartment. This is very distressing to me. For the longest time, Katie was as pathetic as I am. She lived at home with her parents, was making minimum wage, and she was single. It’s hard to be the only one of my former group who still lives at home with her parents. I’m always stressing about people judging me. People tell me that it doesn’t matter, but I don’t believe them.
I’m sure everyone who knows about my situation must think I’m a total loser. I have no other way to describe myself. I am headed in the right direction, but its so difficult to envision the future. I keep living in the past. This reminds me of something I saw recently on Tumblr.
This is so true, yet so hard to live by. I’m trying to work on this.