Do I Have The Right to be Picky?

Greetings! I’ve been keeping up with Weight Watchers as much as I can, but I haven’t seen the results I’d hoped to see by this time. It’s okay though, I’ve no intention of quitting. I’m proud to say, I went last week and I am down to about 0.2 pounds more than I was at my lowest point this year (in August). I hope to be able to attend meetings more regularly as I’ve been using Friday mornings (WW meeting day) to take my weekly online quizzes for school. I have finals in a few days and then I can relax for a bit before starting again in January. Hopefully, during this period, I’ll also be able to work very hard at my goals.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I frequently discuss love and relationships and dating. I’ve recently been spending more time on okcupid.com.  Last weekend, I spent a good chunk of time speaking on the phone with a man from the site.  I spoke to him for probably 6 hours total on Saturday, on Sunday, I didn’t speak with him much, he was out with friends. On Monday, he texted me in the morning because he had fallen asleep and hadn’t spoken to me in awhile. I texted him when I was at work. He texted me when I got home from work and then he called me. And then, while speaking to him very early in the morning, Tuesday,  I realized, I’m really not into him. The conversation wasn’t flowing, we really didn’t have much to say to each other. And guess what? I’m okay with this.

It used to be that I would take offense when men would lose interest in me, but this time, it was fine. I realized that yes, we have stuff in common, but no, he doesn’t make me laugh. He also seemed to be very cynical, and considering that I’m cynical as well, it just wouldn’t work. I need someone to balance out my pessimism. It’s nice sometimes, to commiserate with someone, but other times, I want to be lifted. I want to talk to someone who hasn’t given up hope. Maybe I’m less of a pessimist than I’d originally thought?

But now I’m going to go right back to being a “Debbie Downer” and question my choices. As a fat woman, do I have the right to be picky about the men I talk to? I mean, for a girl like me, the pickings are slim. There are some men who say they like big girls, bbws, thick chicks, whatever. But from what I’ve experienced, the men who are attracted to women like me, aren’t very attractive to me.

I shouldn’t be so choosy about men. I’m a fat girl, I should be happy that any man is talking to me. I have no right to pick and choose what men deserve my time. But I can’t date someone who I’m not attracted to. I’ve done that before, I think it was because I just was sick of being single, and it sucked. So what, do I settle?

I’ve been searching for sites that answer questions or show pictures or tell stories about men who like full-figured women.  I’ve been trying to make myself feel better. I want to fall in love, and I want to know that it is possible for a man to fall in love with me. I still hope to lose weight, I just don’t want to wait until I’m average-sized to start dating. The loneliness is killing me…

Here are a few links to some of the sites I’ve found that give me a bit of hope:

http://www.themilitantbaker.com/2013/03/things-no-one-will-tell-fat-girls-so-i.html

http://fuckyeahfatchicksskinnyguys.tumblr.com/

http://askaguywholikesfatchicks.tumblr.com/

http://magiclistofguyswholikefatgirls.tumblr.com/

http://www.lardbiscuit.com/lard/truefa.html

http://thehairpin.com/2010/12/i-like-fat-chicks-questions

http://www.pinterest.com/mybabykatiepaw/big-girls-their-guys/

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4 thoughts on “Do I Have The Right to be Picky?

  1. Luna Sky

    I don’t think you should feel like you shouldn’t be picky because your overweight. A lot of people think that overweight women should be happy with whoever shows them some attention and that is not right, People are picky for a reason; some good, some bad. Everyone has “flaws” and people want to be loved in spite of them. Why would you want to be with someone that you have no connection to just because he showed you some attention? That’s not fair to you or him.

    Reply
    1. Miss Anonymous Post author

      Thank you for this fantastic response! I would like to improve my confidence and feel like I deserve a man who possesses many of the traits I’m looking for. It makes me feel better that someone understands that though I am overweight, I deserve a chance to be happy.

      Reply
  2. audreyxmarilyn

    I came across this post because I was also writing about being picky on my blog. You have every right to be “picky”! We can’t help who we are attracted to, and we shouldn’t settle for less because we think that’s what we deserve. I’ve been accused of being picky too; I say it’s not being picky, it’s called having standards and everyone should have them 🙂 I whole heartedly believe that no one should settle.

    Reply
    1. Miss Anonymous Post author

      Thank you for this. Sometimes I feel like I should just take what I can get and at other times, I feel like I’m not getting all I want. I believe that my mother thinks I should lower my standards and settle, but I’m just not willing to do that. It’s good to hear that it is okay to look for someone who embodies my dream man. It may take some time, but hopefully, I’ll come across him at some point.

      Reply

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