Tag Archives: diet

My Stats

The first half of a weight loss plan isn’t nearly as fun as the second half.  I haven’t lost much weight yet and it isn’t obvious to anyone that I’m making positive changes.  One of the hardest things about losing weight for me is the beginning, when it’s nearly impossible to envision the positive results of my hard work.  This is why I’ve taken some before snapshots and measurements.  I hope that once I’ve lost a decent amount of weight, I can look back at these pictures and realize just how far I’ve come.

I’ve decided to share the pictures and my measurements with my readers so that they can see where I’m coming from.  I’ll warn you now, the pictures aren’t pretty.  I hope that I will be able to share some more appealing statistics in the near future.


  • Chest – 49.5″, 125.73 cm
  • Hips – 48″, 121.92 cm
  • Waist – 42.5″, 107.95 cm
  • Arm Circumference – 16.25″, 41.275 cm
  • Leg Circumference (calf) – 14.75″, 37.465 cm
  • Leg Circumference (thigh) – 27.75″, 70.485 cm
  • Pants size – 18, 20
  • Shirt Size – XL, XXL
Identifying background images have been removed.

Identifying background images have been removed.


I have a bra on, I just didn't want to show it on the internet.

I have a bra on, I just didn’t want to show it on the internet.

My "diabolical mustache" stomach.

My “diabolical mustache” stomach.

See what I mean by "diabolical mustache"?

See what I mean by “diabolical mustache”?



Stick With What Works

From the start of this blog, I’d always intended to strive for a healthy lifestyle.  If you’ve read some of my posts, you’ll see that I’ve often tried but failed.  This time, I’m hoping to stick with my choice.

Earlier today, I re-joined Weight Watchers.  I haven’t attended a meeting yet, I just signed up and paid for a monthly pass online.  I plan to go to my first meeting next week.  I’ve been a member of Weight Watchers several times in the past, and I’ve been on the email list.  This week I received an email offer from WW, I could get my first month of my membership for 50% off.  I figured it was a good deal, so I joined.

I’ve had a long history with WW.  My first experience was when I was a junior in high school.  I joined with my mother in the fall of that year and by the spring, I had lost about 35 pounds.  Of course, when I started, I didn’t weigh anything near what I weigh now.  In fact, I would be much happier if I now weighed 175.  That was my starting weight in high school.  I believe I lost about 35-40 pounds during that time.  My next WW experience came in the summer prior to my junior year of college.  Once again, I lost a significant amount of weight.

Since those two successful periods, I experienced a great deal of disappointment.  It wasn’t because WW didn’t work, it was because I didn’t do the work to lose the weight.  Weight Watchers does work, I’m proof of that .  The trick is sticking to it.

I have a co-worker who joined this August and she has already lost over 50 pounds!  She’s my inspiration.  She’s been working hard and it shows.  I’m envious whenever I hear someone ask her, “how much weight have you lost?”  I want to be that person. 

Next week, I’ll start my journey to a better, healthier life.  I’ll need all the encouragement I can get.  I hope to share my success with you!

Weight, Body Image, and Diets

All these subjects are slightly different yet all are related. You will find that future posts will be heavily influenced by these topics. I’d like to touch upon all of them so that you can get a bit of background before I get to work on improving myself.

Weight is an issue that I have struggled with my entire life. When I was in sixth grade, at age 12, I first realized that I was overweight. This is when I began my first diet. From then on, my body continued to change, getting smaller, then bigger, over and over, like a sort of cycle. I don’t recall ever reaching the point of obesity until about 5 years ago. I’ve continued to gain weight since then.

Currently, I am the largest I’ve ever been, with a body mass index (BMI) of 37.6. This puts me in the obesity category. I cannot fathom how I did this to myself. I can’t remember when exactly I lost control and allowed myself to become this massive version of me. I have destroyed my body and I fear that some consequences of my overeating will leave an imprint on my body after I lose the weight.

Naturally, body image is closely linked to weight. I have always detested my appearance, even when I was smaller. I have never been thin enough. Now, I look back at those old photos of me and I wish that I could be that size again, but at the time, I remember feeling like I was too fat. There is always something wrong with my exterior. Especially now.

There is this term that I have encountered recently: “BBW” or “big, beautiful woman”. I find it hard to believe that anyone can be labeled as “big” and “beautiful” simultaneously. If you ask me, fat is not attractive. Fat is a condition, an illness, a curse. I am not big and beautiful, I am big and disgusting, an eyesore.

Will I lose weight and think of myself as beautiful? Most likely, no. There is a seemingly endless discussion about the media and its influence on women and I will never be as flawless as the girls on the screen or in the magazines. And what about when those girls gain weight, say 5 pounds? The reporters and writers are vicious with their criticism, splashing the “news” all over our television screens and tabloid mags. What is the biggest toll that all this weight drama takes on the non-famous? Our self-esteem, our confidence, and sometimes, our sanity.

Sanity, or lack there-of, leads to my next topic: diets. People attempt all kinds of crazy diets to try to reach perfection. I am not excluded. On my first attempt, at age 12, everything I ate had to be 5 grams of fat or less, I didn’t pay attention to calories, and I lost weight. I then tried the 20 grams of fat per day diet, at 14.  Again, I was successful. My parents took me to the pediatrician so that he could tell me that I didn’t need to lose any more weight. The following summer, I continued on my diet and I continued to be successful. So successful, that in high school, a girl who had been hospitalized for anorexia, actually sat with me one day at lunch to make sure I ate. At the time, it made me angry, now, I miss that concern.

When I gained again, I went to Weight Watchers and lost again. I continued to gain until my freshman year of college, when I tried throwing up. It was so satisfying one night when I ate too much Chinese food and then got rid of it. But that didn’t last long, family and roommates began to suspect. Towards the end of sophomore year, I joined Weight Watchers Online. I lost some weight, and that following summer, I joined the program and attended meetings. I lost a decent amount of weight. After that, my weight slowly increased. Two years later, I joined again, lost some weight, and then quit and gained. I think I joined 3 more times after and was unsuccessful. When I moved out and lived alone for a year, in 2007, I lost weight when I wasn’t even trying, because I was the one buying my food and there was nothing in my apartment to tempt me.  When I moved back home though, my weight increased incrementally, to my current state.

On this site, you will encounter a great deal of resolutions concerning weight loss, diet changes, and body image improvement. Thanks for reading and wish me luck!

weight gain

From 13-29, my journey from average to obese