Tag Archives: exercise

One Down, Two to Go

I spoke of goals a while back.  I’m proud to say that I’ve achieved one of my long-term goals for 2013. I am signed up to take classes this semester! It is my first step towards my future career. I decided to do online courses because it’s just easier for me. I’m only fulfilling some prerequisites right now, but it feels great to know I’ll be learning again! I have every intention of getting an A in each math class so that I can apply to a certain prestigious school when I’ve completed my prereqs.

In my post about goals, I revealed that I really want to swim again. I haven’t started swimming yet, but I have a pretty good idea of how I will get into that. I’ve recently learned about Masters Swimming. I am looking forward to being part of a team, as well as competing. There are just two things preventing me from swimming: smoking (because swimming can leave me breathless), and my boobs (because I’m afraid they will escape my swimsuit). I hope that I can stop smoking and start swimming. Nothing makes me feel more empowered than swimming.


This Upcoming Week Is Critical to My Success

Today I weighed in.  I gained 3.8 pounds.  In one week.  I feel gross.  After my disappointing weigh-in, I immediately imagined my trip to Super Walmart post-meeting, and what kinds of junk food I could purchase to binge on.  And earlier, I did just that.  I binged on a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Mint Chocolate Cookie”, homemade tacos, and Smooth and Minty Melty Mints (or whatever they’re called).

The fact that they’re pastel makes them taste even more delicious!

This is classic behavior for me.  I put so much effort into my weight loss and then I get hungry or I feel deprived, and my effort all goes to shit.  It’s why I’m fat.  I was really off to a good start this time around.  I’ve lost more weight than I have in 5 years and I was getting compliments and clothes were fitting better and I just gave up.  Now, I’m back to having lost less than 20 pounds.  It was so important for me to lose those first 20 pounds.

That’s why it is so crucial that for the rest of this week, I really stick to the plan and do my tracking and exercise, even if it kills me.  And it is going to be tough.  I’m very certain of this.  I’m working tomorrow evening and after that, I have two weeks of freedom.  When my life isn’t structured (ie. when I’m not working), it is so much easier for me to forget the big picture.  I have no set schedule for anything, including dining.  When I’m not working, I can reach into those cupboards whenever I feel like it and grab something that may not be the best choice.

I am so worried.  I can’t give up.  I’ve done it so many times in the past.  I have all these dreams of what life will be like when I’m not an ogre.  Of course, I really don’t know if anything I picture will come true, but I do believe that if I’m normal-sized, certain scenarios will be more likely to become reality.  I like to imagine that when I’m normal, I’ll have more confidence, I’ll be able to have a relationship, I’ll be able to shop in the misses’ (or possibly, juniors’), department.

I’m 31, I’m running out of time to achieve my goals.  I hope I can survive and thrive during this week.



More Praise for Blogilates!

If you’ve read some recent posts of mine, you may have noticed that I’ve mentioned Blogilates a few times.  I really cannot say enough about this website.  Cassey Ho, the young woman who runs this blog seems to really care about her followers.  I’ll admit, the first minute I caught of a Pop Pilates video turned me off. You see, Cassey, is ultra-enthusiastic and super-perky.  For a chronic pessimist such as myself, it seemed a bit much.  But, after visiting her website and actually watching some of her videos, I’ve really grown to like her.

In fact, I realized that I am probably a bit jealous of this woman. I envy her determination and her seemingly non-stop positive attitude! It’s obvious that she is very dedicated to her readers and really wants others to live healthy and to gain confidence.  Today, while perusing her blog, I found this post and I actually started to cry.  Since fifth grade, when I first noticed that I was overweight, I’ve thought of myself as less of a person.  It’s distressing to think that now,  girls in elementary school believe the same thing about themselves.

I’m sharing this post with you because if you are like me, you probably need a pick-me-up, a bit of encouragement, once in awhile.

A Milestone Week Despite Some Setbacks

This week I reached a small milestone…I lost 1.6 pounds and I am now under 220 pounds (99.8 kg)!  This is really big and important to me.  For the past 4½ years, my weight has lingered around the 230-250 area.  Approximately 5 years ago, I made a big move back home (after living by myself in another state for a year).  The move was necessary to retain my sanity, yet it took a toll on my physical health.  I won’t go into any more details, but that is when my weight began to climb.  This milestone I reached today makes me feel that once again, I am headed in the right direction, I just need to get other areas of my life straightened out.

I am proud to say that I am continuing to follow the blogilates website and workout calendar and I am feeling a little bit stronger in performing some of the moves.  My next step forward, in achieving a healthy lifestyle, will be to return to the Y.  I continue to may my expensive membership fee, but I’m not going.  The truth is, I’m scared.  I know it’s irrational, but I am afraid that I will start working out and the gym-rats around me will all laugh at me.  I can admit this because I did a search and discovered that other people are afraid of this as well.  I’m going to keep trying to push myself to return and I know someday it’ll happen.  It would be so beneficial to be around other people.

It’s obvious that everything hasn’t been all “peachy-keen”.  There’s actually an issue that’s been bothering me for several weeks, and I just haven’t felt like bringing it up.  It’s regarding Steve again, so if you don’t want to listen to me whine about the-one-that-got-away, I totally understand, you can quit reading now.

Back in March or February of this year, Steve posted on my Facebook timeline about an event, he wrote “I thought of you” with a link to said event.  For months, I’d been hoping he’d contact me to invite me to go with him.  He never contacted me, so I figured, he’s so busy, he probably can’t go.  So, on the night of the event, I went on Facebook like usual, and lo-and-behold, my newsfeed shows a status update from him about the event.

Needless to say, I was very upset.  I’ve been with him to similar events before, he couldn’t have just invited me.  I immediately felt that feeling, like a punch in the gut, that I get whenever I feel slighted.  I didn’t expect him to hurt me like that, but I know I should expect it, he’s not the same person I knew several years ago.  I cannot wait until I lose 60 pounds (my halfway point).  I’m going to put a picture on Facebook of my progress and hopefully, he’ll feel regret for not keeping in touch with me.  But of course, I often fantasize about the way I want things to go and when it actually happens, it doesn’t pan out like I’d hoped.

I’d like to end this post in a positive/funny way.  Today I went to a department store and purchased some typical household items (shampoo, sunscreen, etc.) and some personal lubricant.  Yes, I admit it, I purchased tingling lubricant, figuring it’d just be a quick buy and the cashier would scan it and just throw it in the bag, not paying much attention to my purchases.  The cashier scanned my items, I payed.  Then, when she handed me the bag, she said “Have fun!”  I have to wonder what she meant by that.  Was she telling me to enjoy my lube?


Challenge #3 (Again), Day 2

I had everything written out yesterday for day 1 and when I tried to publish, my wireless connection went dead.  So, here I am on day two.

I woke up late this morning and I didn’t have much time to do anything.  I had to get ready for work and run some errands.  Needless to say, I did not get my exercise in before work.  Though, I am pleased with myself as I did my exercises when I got home.  Let me tell you, after getting home from working the 3-11:30 shift, the last thing I want to do is exercise.  I am very surprised and proud that I was able to get my mini-workout in.  I also feel better about myself for doing it!

I’ve included some museum-quality sketches of each stretch I did.  I wasn’t sure of the correct names for a few of them, so I made them up.  I was able to increase the count and reps for a few of the stretches.  My intention is to gradually increase the difficulty of my workout each day.


If you read my previous post, you know that I am working on two things this week.  I’ll fill you in with my skincare routine later in the week.  I also will have pictures, hopefully showing the progress I’ve made. Goodnight!


Challenge #3 (Again) I resolve to start my days off with some stretching and to follow a strict skincare regimen.

The Challenge: During this time period, I resolve to do two things: 

  1. I resolve to stretch each day, preferably in the morning.
  2. I resolve to take care of my skin by sticking to a regimen.

The History:

  • Stretching: When I was in 8th grade, I was determined to lose weight.  I counted my fat grams (no more than 20 per day), and stuck to a nightly exercise plan, beginning with some stretches I’d found in Seventeen Magazine.
  • Skin Care: In high school, I didn’t have major acne issues.  Currently, I experience frequent breakouts and I’m also trying to fight that dreaded sign of aging–wrinkles.  Truth be told, my wrinkles and acne really aren’t that bad.  I have some fine lines under my eyes, but I’ve had those for at least 10 years (age 21).  My acne is mainly dispersed around my chin/mouth area and on my forehead.  Still, I don’t like the look of either and I’d like to do my best to prevent them for as long as possible.

The Reasons:

  • Stretching: I feel that stretching will help me to start to think about more strenuous exercise.  I believe stretching is a good exercise to start with as I won’t be “diving right in” to the hard stuff.  It will feel great to have my body moving in any way possible. Plus, I may even see some results on my figure.
  • Skin Care: Again, I’m interested in developing a good habit.  I have a plethora of skin care that I don’t use, and the money I’ve spent is going to waste.  I know that when I take care of my skin, I feel better about myself and I am less likely to touch my face (I’m a zit popper).

The Benefits: 

  • Stretching: Stress-relief, leads to other exercise, possible positive body changes.
  • Skin Care: More attractive skin, improved self-esteem.

The Plan: I’m going to lump both resolutions into one.  I will try my hardest to get up early so that I can get to stretching.  I’m going to use the internet to find ideas for stretches.  As for my skin care regimen, I do not have to buy anything.  I have so many products that aren’t being used. The biggest struggle for me will be allowing myself time to take care of my skin in the morning and night.

The Time Period: I’m giving myself two weeks to develop these good habits.  After the two weeks are up, I’m hoping to make these habits a permanent part of my life.